NYSC: My First Experience In Camp. [True Story]

NYSC: My First Experience In Camp. [True Story]

When I got to camp, at the gate where you're searched for drugs and other contraband before you're allowed to enter, I carelessly opened my bag for security to search.

I was the least concerned about the entire process, I was just pressing my phone, impatiently waiting for them to finish so I could go get those insufferable three weeks over with. I had nothing to hide; or so I thought. "You came prepared" said the police woman. "Yes", I replied, smiling.

She wasn't reciprocating my energy. Something in my bag must have touched her on the wrong nerve. She proceeded to pull out four packets of condoms from my bag in the full glare of the public of igwë ndi mmadu. I had totally forgotten they were there. I have condoms stashed away in all my bags. Plus I didn't realize it was illegal for adults to carry condoms to a place they were going to be staying with other adults of the opposite sex for three whole weeks.

Thing is, there weren't just condoms in there. There were lubricants in there too. I really came prepared fam. She took those out too and asked, "what are these for?" I then proceeded to give her an elaborate and detailed lecture on the use of vaginal lubricants during sex. The Methods and Procedures, major findings, hypotheses, objectives, advantages, disadvantages, conclusions, recommendations, references, and appendice.

The only thing remaining was practical. Everyone present was shocked. Obviously the whole point of this exercise was lost on me. Like, how is this guy not ashamed to talk about sex in public, and at such reckless abandonment? That one was sha their problem. On the list of things I fear in this life, being sex shamed is public doesn't even make the cut.

I don't get how adults get to allow themselves to be ridiculed for having sex. Ordinary sex lason! Yes, I'm sexually active. So what? Na fuck I dey fuck, I no kill person. She confiscated them then asked me to pack my things and go inside. She put the condoms in the contraband pile, and put my lubricants in her pocket when no one was looking; but I saw and I smiled inwardly to myself.

If hypocrisy was a person, it would be a Nigerian.

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